Saturday, May 7, 2022

~ The She Was Me ~

She'd got the call just as she was walking out the door for Sunday School. Her mother needed her.

"I've somehow got my walker stuck between the bedroom and the bathroom and I can't pull it free. I don't know what to do," her mother's voice sounded shaky.

"I'll be right there."

Her time was not her own. Ever since her mother had become sick two years earlier she decided that life is short, her mother would not always be with her, and that she should not only savor the moments but be there for her as well. Two years of being there were wearing thin. She glanced in her rearview mirror to note a good hair day. Wasted on being a caregiver to her mother. She sighed. When would she have a life again?

"There ya go, Mom." She said, freeing the walker and forcing a smile. Mom scuffed to the bathroom while her daughter made toast for breakfast.

"This is the best toast I've ever eaten," said her mom. She smiled, happy to please and no longer thinking of how inconveniencing this trip was for her. Glancing down at her watch, she realized Sunday School had already started. "Would you like another couple of slices?" She asked her mother.

"Oh boy, would I ever!"

She was convinced that it wasn't the toast that was filling her mother with satisfaction, but rather the love from a daughter who was willing to drop everything to be with her.

When breakfast was finished, the two talked, laughed, and reminisced.

"When you kids were younger, I'd always remind you to get your flower at church on this day. I figured with the seven of you, I'd have enough to plant a nice little flower garden out front."

Petunias. Always petunias.

Her mother apologized for taking her away from her own children on Mother's Day. She reminded her mother that there was no other place she'd rather be than with her mother.

Two months later, her mother was gone.

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

***~~~~~GRACIE UPDATE ~~~~~~***

 The day is getting closer.  That dreadful day of goodbye.  I'm doing a lot of praying.  It's a hard season of life for all of us.  Gary. Gracie. Myself.

In spite of my own aches and pains, God has given me the strength to care for my sweet girl and I am ever-so-grateful.  We have had a couple of not-so-good days here.  Gracie is having trouble holding herself up when she does #2, which wasn't too much of a problem before - since we could hold her up when her legs did not want to hold her up.  But now she has become random in her potty needs and it's hard to know when she needs to go.  At night we cover the living room in pads just in case.  

She sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed and we have arranged pillows, side rails, suitcases, bookcases - and anything else we can put up against the bed to keep her from jumping off.  She still does the ramp, but would rather be lifted onto the bed.  

She's a love.  She enjoys good food, lots of love, and small walks outside.  Also, on a good day, we will load her into the car and take her to the railroad tracks (towpath) for a change of pace.  She trembles when we put her in her car seat but the drive is only minutes, and then we are there and all her anxiety is replaced with joy.  Her sense of smell still stimulates her and makes her happy in life.

We have graduated from Arby's Roast Beef to a more expensive and further away Roy Rogers Roast Beef.  "It's so much better," she tells us.  But when her bowel movements become a little sloppy we go back to chicken.  Even though it is not her favorite, it is so much better for her digestive system.  And with her falling back into her poo, it is best to have a solid stool to fall in.  A surprise bath on Sunday after church caused great anxiety for her - but the mess we came home to after church throughout the house and covering her was just too much!  

I'm talking to God a lot these days.  I need to know when.  I need to have peace about it when it is time.

This little girl has brought such happiness to our days.  I cannot even imagine my life without her in it.  Gary and I will have been married 20 years this September.  She will have been with us 18 of those years - God willing she makes it that far.  With summer nearing, I am doubtful that she will.  She does not do heat well.  But only God knows what lies ahead.  

I just wanted to give all our blogging friends an update on Gracie.  I've watched as many of our friends have lost their fur babies, as heartbreaking as it is.  Gracie's time is nearing.  I felt it only right to share with you all because just as I love your fur babies I know you love Gracie.  

We take one day at a time.  I'm glad God gave me the provisions to retire in 2020.  Caring for Gracie these days is a full-time job and I am grateful for the opportunity and thankful for the beautiful way she enriched our life.  

It was too late for her to write in her diary last night.  But I did snap a picture of her as she rested peacefully IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SIDE OF THE BED!!  LOL.  "Where oh where shall I put my legs tonight?" I whispered.     

Wednesday, April 27, 2022


Life has been keeping me very busy.  Yesterday I celebrated 67 years of life.  Seriously, that number is hard for me to say.  I am a 45-year-old trapped in the body of an old lady.  Ugh.  I picked forty-five for my ideal age because that was probably the year I felt most young, fearless, ambitious, and fit.  

But now.

Anyway.  It was a great day with family and gifts of love.  We began the day as Gracie napped out on the sofa and we snuck out of the house for an hour or so to visit my favorite Amish-style grocery store in Springs, Pa.  Power had just gone out in the store from an accident up the road, but as long as we had cash to pay for our items - it was still a go.  There, I bought myself random items which included a birthday cake (like my decorations? haha) and a couple of books.  It was a weird feeling, shopping in the dark. 


My son, his boys, and his girlfriend gave me a ring light for my TikTok.  Now Gracie and I can do it right ;-)

Daughter Lindsey and the girls (Rissi and Summer) gave me a unique shirt (TIKTOK MADE ME DO IT) and this beautiful candle arrangement.  


I was delighted forced to eat cake yesterday.  Today I begin watching my diet again.  

Dear Diary,  This light mom got for her birthday cannot be a good thing.  I need to practice my 'pretend to be sleeping' skills.  *yawn*  Excuse me now while I take a nap.  No.  For real.  Gracie.

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Easter Memories

I remember an Easter not so long ago (it was yesterday, indeed), when poor as we were, I received the richest of memories on the day we celebrate our Savior’s resurrection.

There was a pretty, soft dress, an occasional Easter bonnet, frilly socks inside shiny white patent leather shoes buckled on the side, and a basket filled with a hollow chocolate bunny, jelly beans, and colored eggs atop green Easter grass.

I believed in the Easter Bunny, and now, at age 66, I can assure you – that temporary magical belief did not taint my love for or relationship with God. I was a child with a wonderful imagination and a desire to invite good thoughts, people, and charitable bunnies into existence.

Monday, April 4, 2022

~~~~~ WELCOME APRIL~~~~~~~


To usher in April, I would like to share one of my all time favorite posts 


That entry was so much fun, I have to share again and again!


Monday, March 28, 2022

**** Welcome Spring ****

Ah, spring.  

Blue skies. Sunshine. Robins.

Special visitors.  

Blustery cold winds and snow outside our window.  Wait.  What?  

Thursday, March 24, 2022


 It's the funniest thing.  My old girl has become so very 'attached' to me lately.  She used to come to the back room with me every morning, where I had my coffee and wrote in my journal, and had God/Bible/Prayer time.  It was sweet mornings, just me, my girl, and God.  But when she grew old she was unable to make the jump onto the futon where I sit and so she stayed in the living room with Daddy.  A couple weeks ago she started coming back to look for me.  So I picked her up and laid her where she always would lay.  I have to pick her up to put her back down as well.  Now she comes back every morning looking for me.

It's difficult for her to get comfortable there with all her fatty tumors and cysts protruding from her.  She wriggles around and I have to reposition her multiple times before she calms.  But she really wants to be with me for our 'special mornings' so I guess she's willing to take the discomfort for that short while.  

This TikTok video was put on shortly after she started coming back with me again.  

Friday, March 18, 2022

28 Years Gone

Mom, You've missed a lot by leaving the world too soon.  The family has grown!  One day we'll talk.  Until then, Happy Heavenly Birthday.  

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

**Senior Moments **

Sharing another TikTok video.  
These videos pretty much reveal what my days are like now.  
A senior caring for a senior.  LOL!  I'm not sure who helps who... 


Thursday, March 10, 2022

Love Never Fails

This was last night.

Dear Diary,

It's hard for me these days.  I used to be able to run up the ramp like a champ.  Hey, I just rhymed.  Let me put that in a more poetic way:

I used to run up that ramp
     Like a champ

Well.  Now.  It. Is. A. Struggle.
But at least I am poetic.

Monday, March 7, 2022



Gracie and I have been doing some random TIKTOK videos and the response has been amazing!  It seems there are many who can relate to caring for a senior dog.  

One of the earlier videos brought a shocking 618.3 K views and 102.4 K likes with 3,474 comments so far!  

This one I am sharing with you today has 18.0 K views, 2,041 likes, and 95 comments.  

There are many others that have gained a lot of interest as well.  I was informed by one of Gracie's newer 'fans' that she is famous, and it does seem so.  HaHa!   Gracie is not impressed.  

I know there are many of you who do not have a TikTok account and therefore have trouble viewing the videos --- So I will try to share some on here.  After all, she loved you all FIRST.    

Thursday, February 17, 2022

~Looking For My Girl~

Yesterday I went looking for my girl as I often do when she is outside wandering.  Sometimes she gets lost.  If you click on the above 'my girl' link, you will see what I mean.  I've started a TikTok account and I'm getting a lot of enjoyment from posting small videos and such.  Also, I find so many I love to watch and follow. 

Gracie is a full-time job these days.  She sleeps a lot, but she loves her walks, food, and cuddling too.  Sometimes she about pushes me out of bed when she insists on sleeping more beside me than at my feet.  Haha!  But.  It's all about making her comfortable these days.  

Our house is like a maze and a bit of a mess with all the carpeting and blankets padding areas where we want to make sure she doesn't run into/jump off of/ fall into etc. and hurt herself.

When she decides to sleep at the foot of the bed it makes for a good night's sleep for me.

If you watch the above video, you might notice that she had fallen into her poop and it was a mess on her butt.  A surprise bath followed.  She was not a happy camper.

But she did rest well afterward.

Thursday, January 20, 2022

So Over It

How's everyone doing?  We are surviving.  My computer is dumping on me...  so I copied and then deleted a lot of files only to find out they did not copy in the first place.  I already emptied the 'trash'. So.  The stuff I have worked on for over a decade is gone.  The cloud helped me get back some - but not the most important stuff.  Computer professionals were of no help.  So I guess I'm starting over.  Kind of.  

Snow came, making it difficult if not impossible for our girl to navigate her way outside to potty.  I shoveled and I shoveled and I shoveled till I had some pretty cool paths for her.  It was so sad watching her fall all over the place in snow that she couldn't even see.  Putting harness and leash on her helped.  That way I was able to lead her around and pull her from the snow she fell into.  I cannot even begin to put into words how badly I felt for the poor thing.  

I tried to put a pic of Gary on - snow blowing the front of our place.  But my computer is still messed up and it refused.  I'm so over it all.  Ugh.  But we are good.  All is well.  

Now.  How have you been?  


Tuesday, January 11, 2022


 One store we went to when visiting Berlin, Ohio years ago we ran into these.

Be honest.  Would you be tempted?  I say, ICK!

Saturday, January 8, 2022

Growing Up Years

 This is what our stove looked like back in my growing-up days.  It isn't an actual picture of our stove.  I found this on the Internet.  It's the same exact one, though.  Ours was not in this good condition.

Below is my grandma.  That's her house in the background.  We loved going to Grandma's house.  It always smelled like chocolate chip cupcakes in her kitchen, and the place was warm and inviting.  

Below is our Christmas tree from back-in-the-day.  We always had a real tree.  The smells of Christmas were phenomenal back then.  

Below is a photo of 5-year old me with two of my older sisters.  I remember those dresses.  Soft, girly dresses.  We didn't have much, yet we were so very rich.  My sister has requested I write a memoir that includes our growing-up years.  I'm trying, and maybe once the holiday buzz is over ...  like maybe next week ...  I can resume.  

It will likely be boring to most.  But to me, to us, it will be fun. 

Friday, January 7, 2022


 We got some snow last night.  

The above photo is the wallhanging that served as a background for my Christmas Village.  Our reality is below.  

Much like life, reality is a whole lot harder of a pill to swallow than the beautiful world of dreams and make-believe.   I find the further back in time I allow my memory to soar, the gentler and kinder I find life to have been.  

Dreaming of warmer, calmer, more magical days!
Brother Jim, Sister Rita, Sister Angie and Me

Thursday, January 6, 2022


Me:  Gracie!  The blood will rush to your head and you will die!
Gracie: Did you say something?  

Sometimes you have to find that comfortable position in order to get a good nights sleep. *Yawn* 

Gracie:  Stop judging.  Goodnight.


Monday, January 3, 2022


Dear Diary,  Since I can't see too good to write, Mom will place this entry for me.  I'd like to talk today about how I used to hide when I was a puppy.  I hid when I was in trouble.  I know, I know.  You are now asking what could a sweet, shaggy bundle of curly fur with beautiful, big, brown trusting eyes do bad?  BOL.  Well, plenty.  But we won't get into that.  

I still find myself getting lost hiding underneath furniture at times.  Unfortunately, it's not from getting into trouble,  Oh, that would be fun but rather - I can't seem to find my way.  Yea.  I know.  Who would have thought my seventeen years would have brought me to this. I'm not ready to give up yet. I love cookies, steak and chicken, treats, walks, and to have my back massaged.  Gracie