2-Year Rewind. Remembering Lindy.

This is a post from 2 years ago today on one of my blogs.  I still miss you Lynn...  but in my dreams you are still there....

My sister Lindy loved my writings.  She loved it when I would send her cards and write at length about this or that.   We had in the past had talks about what we'd like heaven to be like when we die.  She would joke and say if there wasn't snow, she wasn't interested.  And so I created a work of fiction that included a character whom had a very strong resemblance to her and I gave it to her to read a couple of months ago.  She knew it was her.  She told me she loved it and it made her cry (happy tears).

An Excerpt from MY HEAVEN:

Chapter 3

God was there.  Nobody told me where I could find him, but I knew he was there… somewhere.  I felt His presence.  I longed to see His face.  And if this was indeed Heaven, then wasn’t He supposed to be on a throne of some sort?  Should Jesus be at His right hand on yet another throne?  Shouldn’t all of us Heaven residents be worshipping and bowing down to Him instead of going about our business and creating our own personal Heaven’s?  

The season of winter, which I abhorred on earth, was acceptable to me here in Heaven.  The flakes were big and soft upon my skin as I trudged my way up my sister’s driveway to her big, beautiful mansion on the hill.  I didn’t feel cold though, only a perfect warmth.  She watched from a dimly lit window above and when I reached the large wraparound porch she met me at the door. 

“Come in!” she said. 

She was beautiful.  Her gown was crimson and her blonde hair was in a bun on her head with just a few curls twirling down the sides of her blushed face.  I knew right away that she had been outside in the snow…  enjoying her Heaven.  

Gina filled me in on every  detail of my sister Lily, and though I did not really recognize her from earth I still felt like I knew her.  

On earth she had died many years before me.  First she had diabetes, then her eyesight began to deteriorate and she had heart problems.  Her kidneys began to fail and she had fallen and broken her hip.  It was downhill from there.  She loved life, but her joy had left her and her eyes grew dim.  Then one day she suffered a severe stroke that left her paralyzed.  Oh how that woman suffered!  The day the angels pulled her to Heaven was a day of rejoicing for her.  But how I missed her on earth!  I missed the old times of talking for days on end about everything from soap operas to Nascar.  I missed the way she would call my children over to her house the minute she saw them playing outside in the yard so she could give them a cookie.  I missed her loyalty as a sister.  But though I did not know of her heaven at the time, I knew she was in a better place than that of her suffering.  

“It’s warm in here,” I said.  “Feels good…”

“Here, let me take your coat.”  She said.   I pulled my fluffy white coat off and handed it to Lily.  I could smell dinner cooking.

“Stay for turkey and stuffing,” she said.  

“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” I said.  “I believe I will.”

She made the most fantastic turkey dinners.  This, she did on earth as well.  Thanksgiving was her day in the kitchen and she loved cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

“I have something I want to show you,” she said.   “Follow me.”

I followed her through her spacious old-fashioned kitchen and to the back of her mansion and she opened the door.  Five big dogs came barreling in and I pulled back to let them go through. 

“They were mine, when I lived on earth.”  She said.  I watched as she sat on the floor and played with them and I felt something in my heart that was not a feeling I had felt before.  It was as though I was missing something.

“How do you know they were yours?”  I asked.

“Lorna told me.”  She said.  Lorna was her angel.  She and Lily worked crossword puzzles together every Thursday evening.  

“How nice,” I said.  The dogs were shiny, soft, and smelled of fresh lavender.  One jumped into my lap when I sat down on the divan and a tender feeling came over me.  I had held that dog before.  

“There’s a place just around the bend,” Lily pointed to her right.  “It’s called the Rainbow Bridge, and there you can collect your pets and take them back to your heaven with you to live forever in paradise.” 

“Is that where you got yours?”  I asked.  Lily shook her head. 

I must have had pets before, in my life on earth.  But still, I wondered.

I asked Gina the next day if she would like to visit the Rainbow Bridge with me and without saying a word she motioned for me to follow her.  

As we passed Lily’s mansion I could see the snow still accumulating on her grounds and a snowman now sat proud and tall right outside the door, complete with a corncob pipe, a button nose and two eyes made out of coal.  Lily waved from her window.  I smiled and waved back, then gave her thumbs up.  I wasn’t sure why I was going to The Rainbow Bridge; all I knew is that there was something missing from my Heaven that I needed to be fulfilled.  

Christmas day was the last good day Lindy had.  Today I was there alone with her when she took her last breath.

I touched her forehead and joked around with her for just a minute.  I told her, this is like old times when we'd sit and talk for the longest time... just me and you.  Her breaths were shallow and her eyes dim.  I am not sure that she heard me...  but after I talked to her about her Mansion and the snow and the beautiful place she'd be going to, she took one more breath... then a pause.  Then another.  And then...  nothing.

I am heartbroken.

2 Years Ago... on Christmas Day 

Ugh!

I almost forgot to wish my sister a happy birthday today.  So while my daughter Lindsey was here with Rissi, I decided to call her so we could all sing to her over speaker phone.  When she picked up the phone, she sounded like she was getting a cold.  In unison we sang loud and clear, knowing that this would make my sister very happy!  

First a belly laugh.  Then a thank you.  Then, "I really appreciate this...  But it's not my birthday."  

  I was sure today was the right day.  

"Lindy?"

"No, this is Lena.  I think you have a wrong number.  But I really enjoyed the song..."  Another belly laugh.  

I checked my phone to see...  

It looked like the right number.  

Gary yelled from across the room, "Well, happy birthday to you whenever your birthday is..."  More laughter.  

After I apologized, the stranger on the other end assured me that there was no need to apologize.  We had made her day.

 I had punched in a 9 instead of a 0.  Oops.

So I punched in the right number this time.  Busy.. busy..busy.

Sorry, Lindy but you're birthday wish went to somebody else this year.  

Dear Diary,

The Cupcake Carrier does not share like she used to.  Mom says it's because the novelty has wore off.  I don't know for sure what that means..  All I know is, I let her take me for a walk through the house and I even pretended to enjoy it and she still refused to give me a potato.  

My only hope is in this new one that Lindsey's going to be bringing home soon. Hopefully she won't know nothing about novelties or things like that.  Cookie crumbs are my favorite thing in the world.  Gracie.

Prayer for Sis

My sister Lindy is one of those people who speak what they think and you can like it or not...  but you never have to wonder what's on her mind.  She's 8 years older than me and she was married at 15 and had 2 kids by the time she was 20.  Another came shortly after.  

As a child, I'd visit my married teenage sister and I can remember her making chocolate chip cookies and she'd make a huge one just for me.  

When I became an adult and married, I moved into the little green house right beside of hers.  We were neighbors for a very long time.  She introduced each one of my babies to their very first Oreo cookie...  and as they grew up, when she'd see them outside she'd rush out of her house with the cookie bag in her hand to treat them. 

 She visited me almost every day, giving me an adult to converse with amidst the crying babies and dirty diapers.  She was always giving - but on her terms.  I knew never to take advantage of her generosity or she'd let me know!  

We'd ponder over Days of our Lives and Friday's cliffhanger, and talk about what we thought would happen come Monday.   Our long talks would lead us to believe that we'd solved all the worlds problems at the end of the day, and that we were the only ones who had any common sense at all.  It was too bad everyone couldn't be like us! lol 

 Christmas lights would go up early and instead of being hung on the road-side of her big white farmhouse, the side facing our house would be brilliant and complete with Santa and his reindeer and tons of multicolored lights.  All this so my kids could see them when they looked out the window.  

The years have passed, and when I got divorced I moved and I'm no longer her neighbor.  Memories of quiet country summer evenings on the back porch swing watching the brilliant white stars dance around in the black night sky and laughing at each others jokes - are over.  Thanksgiving Day comes and goes now without one of us at the others house begging the poultry seasoning.   The Christmas Decorations have been sold at yard sales and our daily conversations with coffee and cake have become weekly phone chats with the subject being mostly aches and pains.  

Time stands still for none of us, no matter how 

unique we feel we might be.

 She doesn't like her picture taken, and would cringe if she knew it were on the Internet.  So I honor that request begrudgingly.  She wants her rotary dial phone back and wouldn't think of carrying around a cell phone.  When I tell her about my blog, she shakes her head.  She doesn't understand Facebook or Twitter and doesn't want to.

Lindy is a brittle diabetic with a lot of other health problems as well.  On the forth of July, something happened to her eyesight and now she can only see partial in each eye.  Thinking it was from her diabetes, she was sent to Morgantown for a surgery.  But yesterday she was told that it wasn't from her diabetes, but that she had had a stroke.  They wanted to keep her and run tests, but she refused to stay.  She said she gets homesick, but hopefully she will go back for the testing like she should.  

It must be horrible to lose your eyesight.  I can't imagine what it would be like to hear the sweet voice of my granddaughter and not be able to look into those big blue eyes.  

If you think about it..  please say a prayer for my sis.  

An Unfair Advantage

My sister sister Angie is two years older than me.  We were close growing up.  She was born with a hole in her heart and had to have several surgeries as a child.  Mom and Dad were often back and forth from Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore with Angie.  Sometimes they would take me along...  because I wanted to be with them.  Mom said I was always good, and she didn't mind taking me.  Though I was very young, I can remember it quite vividly.  The medicine-like smell, the pictures that other children had colored that were plastered over a big glass window leading to a play area for the children, the huge, consoling statue of Christ that welcomed us into the hospitals lobby, and my sister lying in a bed smiling, relishing her presents and the attention she was getting at six years of age.  

Now one time, for some reason, they had to take the train to Baltimore (and we were very poor).  "You are five years old," Mom schooled Angie on her sudden age-change before getting onto the train.  When a child turned six, a ticket needed to be purchased.  When it came time to collect tickets, the conductor asked Angie how old she was.  "Well," she answered.  "I'm five when I'm on the train, and six when I'm not on the train."  Mom was appalled.  

Angie never got married or had a family.  She was the only one of seven children who went to college.  She teaches Social Studies but has also taught English Literature (I think) at a middle school in the Annapolis area.  

And she has convinced me to play 'Words with Friends' with her via my IPod Touch.  

The game's great... almost identical to Scrabble.... and you can make your word whenever you have free time - then it's the next persons turn.  As you can see on the screen, Angie is winning this game.  She wins them all.  When she was here over Christmas, I'd notice her tinkering around with her IPhone... I thought she was texting.  It turns out she has a half a dozen games going with different people.  

I'm humoring her, and playing along.  But I think she has an unfair advantage.