Book Trailer for THE HOUSE

Monday, January 9, 2012

Lucky Me!

I took the hubby's car to the Fruit Bowl today. 

 LUCKY ME>  I Found a parking place right next to the front door!  
Awkward that I am, while fumbling for my huge trash can purse I accidently hit the emergency button on the car remote.


How do I turn this darn thing off?!?  I'm not the type who likes to be noticed...  good or bad.  But by now, the entire store front  is my entourage of curious faces - watching me. 

 LUCKY ME>  I found the button. 


With head hung low, I apologize to my audience 
while on my way inside. 

"Oh, was that you?" they say.  

They know darn well it was me...

LUCKY ME>  They had everything I needed.  Well... the grapes weren't too swift so I passed on them.  But other than that... it was all good.

  Upon returning to my car I find the lights on.  I guess I must've pushed a wrong button while trying to stop that stupid LOUD horn!  

LUCKY FOR ME>  I wasn't long inside.  The car should be fine.

While fumbling with my trash can purse  I dropped one of my bags.

 LUCKY ME>  There was only one item in the bag....

Ummm..  Maybe I wasn't so lucky after all...  But maybe.  Just maybe.. they didn't break.

They did.

Upon pulling in my driveway I find our advertising guy waiting with our newspaper ad to be proofed.   Not good timing.  I didn't want to get into it with him.  He needn't know that  I had a bag in the back that was seeping slimy, gross egg ...    

I grabbed the proof from his hand.  Took a quick glance.  "Yep. Umm hmmm...  looks great."  

Thinking to myself:  Thumbs up... now please be on your way Newspaper guy.  Go.  Go away.... quickly. 
 I have to get these eggs inside.

"You know your lights are on?"  he says.

"Oh crap."  
(that's as strong a curse word as you're going to get from me..  but I said it with emphasis!)

  I can't figure out how to turn the lights off.  

Newspaper guy reaches in, touches a button and voila! 

Thinking to myself:  Now, go away!  

He gets the hint and heads for his car and I  then grab my bags and take them inside to see what I can salvage.

LUCKY ME!  I have five eggs that were not cracked.  

Can someone say ....  KLUTZ?


 This is the hard part.   The watching as she falls in her own bowel movements.  The watching as she staggers around, trying to find her way...