Thursday, December 29, 2016

Five Very Important Christmas Tips from Gracie

1. Agree with every single thing.  Yep.  Be in agreement.  Otherwise you will find yourself hiding under the bed for the entire day of festivities.  You do not want to miss one single cookie crumb!

2. Repeat these words for as many times as it takes to have an inner peace:  It's only for a day.  It's only for a day.  It's only for a day.

3.  Don't move around too much.  Truth is, every single time you move you will jingle.  It's insane, I know!  It's cruel!  It's inhumane and unacceptable!  But still. Don't move.  Unless you see a careless cookie carrier forget about a cookie that is within paws reach.  Then, move rapidly. Very rapidly. Before those jingle bells alert you-know-who....

4.  Stay calm.  Even when you feel like tearing off an arm or a leg from the fake santa in the corner.  Remember... it's only for one day.  Make peace with the jingle bells. Expect the annoyance with each step of your paw. Ignore the oohs and ahhhs and how everyone laughs and points your way saying "Isn't that cute?"  

It. Is. Not. Cute.

Stay focused.  No trouble....

5.  No trouble.  Unless.  Your people forget to give you supper and end up leaving you all alone.  Then.  New rules.  It only takes two minutes to rip open an unopened Christmas gift.  Do it.  Rip it to shreds.  Let 'em know you're mad as heck and you will not take it any more! 

Then, look cute and sad.  Treats will follow.  Gracie.