Monday, January 28, 2013

Short-Stuff and The Dog

Cheerio's on the floor can mean only one thing...

Summer spent the night and she has defied all odds and found a way to spill food from her no-spill bowl.

Summer carrying her 'no spill bowl'

Dear Diary,  I laid down the rules for Short-Stuff when she got here last night.  No ear pulling.  No playing with my toys.  No stealing all of the attention.  Got it Short-Stuff?

She assured me that she got it.

Then she had a few rules of her own.

'No tickling my face with your whiskers, Big Dog' she said.

'And no stealing my toys...'

Then Mom showed her how to feed me cookies.  But she needed to have some extra tutoring on the feeding cookies to the dog lesson.  Oh sure, she had no problem putting the cookie to my mouth.  But she just didn't want to let go of it..

By the end of her stay, she had it down pat. 

And I had a job to do.  Cheerios were everywhere.  A dog's work is never done.  Gracie.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Some Blog Problems...

I have been having some real blog problems lately.  First of all, I found I was following way too many blogs, and wasn't able to keep caught up with them.  So.  I decided to put my favorite ones on the side blog list, that way I would be able to keep up and keep track.  The problem is...  when I went to do that I found many of my favorite ones were gone.  Ugh!  I've been trying to go back and re-follow but I just know I'm missing some.  One in particular, Pip, I tried to re-follow but it isn't coming up at all as being followed, even after I re-followed.  Errrr.

So.  If you have been a blog that I have regularly commented on and you don't see your blog listed on the right ....  please let me know. 

I hope everyone is having a good Sunday!

Saturday, January 26, 2013


While waiting to get into the movie theatre last week in Frederick, we wondered into the Soma Boutique.

Intimate apparel - underwear and bras.

Not since high school when Butch, our (female) gym teacher, insisted on us girls taking showers and then proceeded to watch us as we got out of the showers to make sure we were wet,  have I felt more violated.  Modest me!

Let me set the scene.

Gary:  We have 45 minutes till the movie starts.

Me: (Peering in the Soma window):  Ohh...  Nice underwear.  Let's go in here for a minute.

 **Notice, I call them underwear.  Not panties or intimate apparel.  Underwear.  Does this show that I am old or that I can throw a nickel and have it land in WV easy (thus I can pronounce and say things any old way I want)?**

I am greeted by an enthusiastic, bubbly, sales girl...  lets call her Debbie...  who encourages me to collect a mound of bras then follows me to the fitting room (after she measures me right smack dab in front of the huge store-front window to see what size bra I'd take).

Outside of the fitting room she is talking to me, calling me by name, and then asking me if she can take a look.

*Insert horrified face here*

Me:  Oh sure..

I very gingerly open the door just a crack.  Debbie barges in and begins to ogle my half naked top part, giving suggestions and lying about how great it looks on me.

This process is repeated four times and then I bolt from the fitting room, pay over a hundred bucks for some of the best bras I will ever own, and grab Gary from the bench where he sits smiling (I wonder why!).

I'm wondering how long these sales professionals go to school to learn how to turn a deal that easily.

*Insert bewildered & confused face here*

Oh, one last thing.  If you own a DOG or a CAT I encourage you to give them permission to stop Here at Gracie's Advice Column Blog  and ask her advice on anything at all.  Gracie has the winter blahs and she needs to feel needed... ;-)

Sunday, January 20, 2013


Day Trip!

Destination:  Frederick, Maryland

Purpose:  Shopping and a Movie

Mission:  Accomplished

Gary enjoys a (rare) good (Crohn's) day!


You know...

What it's like when you go through a dry period...

Where you've cried about as many tears as you think you will ever cry in your life!

You feel jaded as a result of so much sadness in your life and in the world.  You don't think one more thing will stir an emotion in you that will bring you to tears...

And then...

A tsunami of tears...

The tsunami of 2004 in Thailand and how it affected 1 family.

The following is a trailer for the movie THE IMPOSSIBLE.  I tell you, you could have heard a pin drop at the end of this movie!  Most were sitting in their seats sobbing, not making a move to leave the theater, including me.

A True Story.

Watch the trailer and if at all possible, see the movie.  It was not playing in our area so we drove to Frederick, Maryland to see it.  It will make you think.  About life and humanity in general.

Dear Diary,

Yesterday Mom and Dad were gone all day.  I missed them.  Gracie.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Now Where Are They!

"Hey Mom!  Have you seen my toys?"  

"I'm looking everywhere for them.  Can't seem to find them."

I'm in the mood for a good game of squeaky-furry toy or go fetch..."

"And what happened to my squeaky ice cream cone?"

"I can't find one single toy.  Now where did I put them..."

"They're not behind the couch..."

"There is not a single toy in my toy box..."

"Huh!  There they are!  Now who woulda..."

"I love you Gracie..."

"Yea, yea...  I'm pretty fond of you too ya little trouble maker."
"Hey, is that Oreo Cookie I smell on your breath?"

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


I could hear her screeching from the other room.  Sometimes the sound of her voice goes right through me.

"Where's Gracie?"  


"Where is she?"  

Then Dad,

"I don't know...  she's not outside is she?"


I could hear her footsteps slowly walking toward the bedroom where I was playing hiding.  

"Just paw-cuff me will ya...  take me to the slammer where I belong."

The words sounded something like this...


But I think what she was trying to say was,

"Gracie!  You ripped your pee-pad up!"  (I've never even used the darn thing.  I think it's a joke, another one of those brilliant human ideas.)

And then her famous quote "Gracie what 
is your problem?"

"Get outta my way woman!  Can't you see I'm trying to watch out the window.  Aren't you supposed to be on hiatus?"
Trying to make amends...  

Tonight we went for a walk IN THE DARK.

Not such a good idea.

Always remember.  If it seems to good to be true, then it probably is.

A paw and ear bath followed, since I'll get a full grooming in just two days.

My dirty ear

Enough of my drama. 

I'll get even with her for what she's done! 

 Remember the book she wrote,  sharing MY DIARY in Gracie's Diary: A Memoir?

Visit   HERE on SATURDAY and download the Kindle version for FREE!

I'll show her!  

Sleep sweet peeps! 

 And don't forget to pee sleep on the floor (where ya belong)! Arf! Arf!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Fearful and Worried. BOL!!!!

Yea, Gracie here.  Looks like Mom is on an unscheduled hiatus.  You just can't count on her for anything, right?  

I know.  I know.  You're saying... Gracie, what have you been up to lately.  Right?  

So glad you asked.  I have been a bundle of nerves joy.  A little depressed quiet. Antsy  Eager to help out.  My chair was moved from the window and a blindingly-bright town with a huge flickering pine tree and a big noisy train was put in its place. The Cookie Connections loved it but it was an invasion of my privacy.  Nobody cared.   THEN a bunch of intruders showed up in our front yard wearing hats and scarves and taunting me late at night, causing me to get into trouble for begging to go out 20X a night and then for barking like crazy at them.  (glad those things are disappearing)

 Mom says, "Poor Gracie.  She's depressed, I think. She's starting to pee on the floor again.  We need to get her pee-pads.   I wish I knew what she was thinking."  

So she Googled it.  What is my poor dog thinking?  

BOL!!!  Check out #7 of "How to read your dog's body language HERE

BOL!!!  I laughed till I cried and then I almost peed on the floor.   Ahemm... 

 According to the human that wrote this, the total submission pose is a sign of 'fearful and worried'.  B.O.L.   

  Check me out below. Do I look Fearful and Worried?  

More like...  A dog with a hankering for a good belly rub.  

I'm tellin' you.  These humans are a real trip, if you know what I mean.  

But hey!  I have my window back.  

 What is my body language saying now silly human peeps?  

Queen of my Castle once again!  

(That's right)!  

Monday, January 7, 2013

Life. It's Getting In The Way.

I'm having some real trouble keeping up with blogging...

Life keeps getting in the way.


Jasper got home on Friday!  

He is doing well!  

Yesterday we took Rissi and Jake to the mall to let them 'shop' with money they got from their great grammy.

We had a great time!    

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Say What!!??

Today I learned something new.

If you wish to do a book signing...  say...  at the mall...

You must first take out A Million $$ insurance policy for the day.

You know...

In case someone would ...  say... Maybe get a paper cut from one of your books....

and decide to sue you...


You laugh!

But I'm serious!

What. Is. This. World. Coming. To.??

Each day I think life cannot possibly get any more bizarre...

It does.

See you next month at the Country Club Mall in LaVale....

And feel free to leaf through the pages of Gracie's Diary: A Memoir.  I'll have Band-Aids on hand in the event of a paper cut.  And if there are more serious injuries as a result of the book signing,  I'll be insured :-)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Wild Parties Can Only Lead To Trouble

Last night, while others were partying hardy,
 this was our scene at midnight...

While many who celebrated into the early morning hours  nursed hangovers this morning, I enjoyed my morning coffee as always and Gracie her cookie treat.

Our front yard guests, however...

Didn't fare so well...

 Heads were rolling...

And eyes were too...

Some held up better than others...

But all in all...  it was a bad scene..

Dear Diary, 

 Wild New Years Parties can only lead to trouble. Only trouble. Gracie.