Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Baby and the Bone

Dear Diary,

The kid aka Short Stuff doesn't say much.  She's fast though.  I have to be on my guard at all times when she's around.

She has this fascination with my ears... probably cause she doesn't have any of her own.

Mom's trying to teach her to be n-i-c-e to big dog.  Mom slides her little hand over my back and says n-i-c-e.  But the minute Mom's back is turned, those little hands dart quickly for the ears and anyone who knows this dog understands that the ears are off limits.  Period.    

I try to keep my distance.  But there are some things that interest me.  Like new toys.  Dirty diapers.  Cereal.  Finger foods.

Mom tries to keep both of us in line...

Short Stuff's trying to teach me how to stand on my back legs. I humor her, and say 'oh yea, that's really cool' when I actually think it's stupid.  She goes nowhere on her back paws legs.  Everyone knows you need all fours to get to where you want to go.

She's not too smart.

"hey big dog, you're ear's inside out. let me fix that for you."

I try to teach her a thing or two.  But she's not an easy learner.  

If I told her once, I've told her a thousand times.  No playing with my slobbery, green bone kid.  Mom will have a fit.

I guess she's tempted though, when I bring it to her and drop it down in front of her.

The nag Mom yells at me.  GRACIE! DON'T GIVE THE BABY DIRTY TOYS!

She must mean dirty cookies too.

Because when I tried to pawn off an old buried cookie...

I got to hear her famous speech:

"Gracie, what is your problem!?"  

Hey, the kid was hungry.  

And I'm all about making friends with this
 future Nilla Wafer carrier/sharer.  Gracie.

"stay away from the ears kid.  ya hear?"