Tuesday, January 31, 2017

First and Last

My philosophy has always been, if it's not broken don't fix it or if you are not having a problem, don't go looking for one.  The following procedure I did finally for my husband who has been bugging me to do this ever since I turned fifty (so many years ago).

I am usually a rule follower.  But this particular morning (Friday) of last week, I broke that tradition and I refused to finish this extremely nasty concoction in prep for my very first (and only) colonoscopy.  

Nothing but liquids the day before the procedure.

Then, 8 PM dose number # 1 of what I call THE POISON.

Gag. Burp. Yuck. Eww.  Blah.

I barely got it down.  But when I did, I felt as though it would not stay there.  After it settled, I started drinking the fluids.  40 oz to be exact.  Then I waited.

All HECK broke loose about two hours later and I felt as though a bomb exploded inside of me.  It was not a pretty sight.

No sleep was expected that night so you can imagine my delight to have nodded off for a good 45 minutes before urgency sent me flying to the john in those wee hours of the morning on Friday.

4 AM came.   I stared at the cup.  Part two of the prep.  The 5 ounces of POISON.  I sipped.  I gagged.  I chocked down another swallow.  I sipped some more.

I had heard that the prep was the worse part.  My doctor said it was a piece of cake, not to worry.  This, why I do not totally trust doctors.

I took another sip.  My stomach began to churn and bubble up.  I concluded that I was not going to be able to do this.  At that point I thought maybe I'd do what I refused to do earlier.  I googled.

"Don't take the stuff!"  "It made me violently ill!"  "I was sick for days..."  and the negative comments went on and on.

But still.  I had 4 oz left that I must finish and I better hurry because by 5 AM I needed to be finished the POISON and 24 oz more of water!

I felt like such a failure.  I wasn't even able to finish half.  I decided I'd call the surge center in the morning and let them know I just couldn't do it.  It seemed a shame since I was more than half way there.

No worries.  I guess I was prepped enough, which made me think...  the second dose of that POISON was over-kill...  and speaking of kill, I thought I'd die if I had to drink one more drop.

 At 8 AM the nurse blew a vein and tried again to get the needle in my hand to hook me up to the IV.  Finally success.  A talk with anistheseology and a brief waiting period and before you know it the team of nurses were telling me to roll onto my side and then everything faded.

I opened my eyes to good news.  I passed the test.  I was barely able to stand to dress but they shipped me out the door and I was soon home and the nightmare was behind me.

No nightmares for me.  Only sweet sleep.  Gracie.


Kids...   And Dogs... The closest thing to heaven on this side of heaven... Gracie agrees!