Monday, December 19, 2011


In '07 we decided we'd get an artificial Christmas tree for '08 after a swarm of flying insects mysteriously appeared  throughout our house shortly after our Douglas Fir  was erected and decorated.  "What's with all the bugs?"  I asked as I swatted away the tiny gnat-like pests.  Upon close examination I found the swarm to be thicker
 as I moved closer to the tree. 

There went my yearly tradition of dragging nature and all it's glorious smells inside my living room every year.  
It was time to go fake. 

We found a great after-Christmas sale and at 70% off only paid $80 for our very first fake tree.  (Below) 

I won't lie.  It never seemed right to me. 
 I don't like fake anything...   I prefer the real deal. 

 But for 2  years I put up with Mr. Fake Tree. 

Then ~ a great idea! 

 "Let's create a gigantic Christmas village...  for the grandchildren...  and do away with the tree altogether."  

The only reason Gary agreed (after spending 80 bucks on a tree he assumed would see him through the rest of his life) was because he liked the idea of a train set.  

So the Spring/Summer yard sales of '10 was with one goal in mind.  Christmas village pieces.  

December 19. 2011.  

Me:  Let's put the artificial tree outside and write FREE on the box.  It will be a good time to help a family who can't afford to get a tree.

Gary:  Ok.  Let's put it up along the highway.  On the bench.  

Me:  No, Gary.  It will be too much of a distraction and may cause an accident.  We'll put it out to the side of the house on the side street.  Someone will take it.

Gary:  No, it needs to go up by the highway.

Me:  You are wrong.

***  I drag the huge box out of the garage and tape a FREE sign on it's front.  Gary meets me there and drags the box up to the road and puts it on the bench in front of our house against my wishes.***

Gary:  Don't worry...  someone will take it. 

Me:  It's not a good idea....

We no sooner walked inside... than...  CRASH!


Me:  I told you it would be a distraction!   

Okay.  So we found out it had nothing to do with the FREE Christmas tree box along the road, but rather our neighbor went to turn in her driveway and the cars behind her were going too fast and...  well...  you can guess the rest.  I don't think anyone was seriously hurt, but one was taken to the hospital with a stiff neck.

An hour later, the tree was gone.  

Gary loves being right.  

Dear Santa,

How many cookies do you think you could fit in an average sized stocking?  Could you squeeze a chew bone in there too?  And how about a new skunky wunky squeaky toy?  Santa...  I've uhh..  been perfect awesome outstanding good.  
Love and Sloppy wet kisses, Gracie.

PS  Could you define good for me please?