Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Terror by Telemarketing Part Two

I got an emergency call this morning.  My Microsoft key had expired and some pretty horrible stuff was about to happen to my computer if I did not follow instruction on how to save my computer. Seriously?  


Then there's the one where the IRS calls and says I am in trouble with them for not paying my taxes.


Another is a computerized voice asking:  "Is Harry there?"  
This one is a guaranteed call at least one a week.


"You and a guest have won an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas!"


"Yes, I need to speak to the business owner."

"I am the business owner."

"We can save you 40% on your electric bill/ phone bill/ trash bill, etc..."

"Not interested"

"Oh, so you don't want to save money?"



"You have been picked!!  We have chosen to install a complete security system in your home..."


"Is John there?"

"I'm sorry you have the wrong number"

"Oh, well that's okay...  you will do..."


"Is Felicia Stevens there?"

"I have told you over and over and over and over again..  for the past FIVE years!  Felicia Stevens does not live here!  This is a business line.  Please, please, please remove this number from your calling list!"

"Okay, we will remove the number."

They don't.

Then there's the foreign accent that is barely understandable but that calls from Windows stating that your computer is about to crash and they need to get into it to fix it.  Just follow a couple of steps and let them log on and they will save the day!!  

"Gee... that's funny..  I don't even own a computer!"


Do you ever get tired of all the manipulative, aggravating, dishonest phone calls?  I just want to scream into the phone "Okay, you have reached the telemarketing police and you are under arrest.  My guys will be there to pick you up momentarily."   

It's the machines that I hate more than anything.  They don't even care if you hang up on them.

Gracie, girl.... how about a kiss?

Yea.  Okay.  Whatever.  But just my ear.  I refuse to let that filthy mouth of yours touch mine.  That is, unless you have cookie crumbs lingering ...  then I may reconsider.