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Monday, September 13, 2021

Life Gone To The Dogs

I could say my life has gone to the dogs, but let's face it... it's been that way for almost 17 great years.

My blog started out as Gracie Owns Me, then several years ago I changed it to Growing Old with Gracie and now - well, if I were to rename it now it would probably be Losing Gracie.  

My heart breaks to see her lost in our yard, under a chair, or in a corner.  She tends to pull to the left, the same side as her head-tilt, causing her to run into walls and miss doorway entrances.  

I've piled soft rugs and blankets on even the smallest step landing, to make her walk from the house to outside easier.  Sometimes she'll fall, but it's a soft landing now.  

We'll put her in the car and take her to the towpath for mini-walks until she looks worn out.  She loves her walks, still.  Even if they are only half of what they used to be.  When I heard of the hurricane rains coming our way, I hurriedly purchased a doggie umbrella from Amazon. It came that morning, just in time.

Our lives are dedicated to making her last days as comfortable as possible.

She used to love to go out front and bark at passersby.  Now when I tie her there, she looks bewildered.  Like, where am I and what am I doing here?

She still has her favorite spots to sleep, though sometimes it's hard for her to find them.  

Our entire house is Old-Girl-Gracie-ized.  We have ramps and rugs, pillows, and barriers.  Every time I see a problem, I try to fix it to make it easier on her.  I love when I catch her in a sweet sleep.  I know then, she is not worried or suffering or in pain.  I love when she climbs the ramp at night to join us on the bed, and when she settles there.  Her going down the ramp gives me worry - as she bounces to the left and onto the sides of the ramp, finally making it to the floor.  

She doesn't do well in the car for long drives.  We took her to camp one last time, then we sold the camper and discontinued our contract with the campsite.  When it was time to leave, she refused.  

No.  I'm not going.  I will not go.  I love camp.  You can't make me.

When she is gone, I cannot imagine being there without her.  She has loved it so much!  It would be too painful.  

I've been talking to her a lot.  About how she will probably be leaving us soon, I tell her we'll be okay.  But she will be better than okay.  And that she should watch for us one day to be with her.  Do I think dogs go to heaven?  Absolutely.  I found this on daily scriptures on the Internet: 

And because I love God, I know He will one day bring me and my girl back together again.  

He will bring all of us back together again, all of us who love Him.  

In the meantime, I will take the best care of my girl that I can.  And I will watch closely for her to tell me when she's had enough of this life.  

Shhhh...  I'm trying to catch a nap, can ya keep it down?


  1. Sending compassion, prayers and love. You know many of us have walked this tough road. You know we understand, that we care.❤️❤️❤️❤️

  2. Oh MY, Bobbi! This is so heartbreaking, and I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I had been hoping that her off balance was just due to the ear infections. Well, sweet Gracie has known so much love, thanks to you.

  3. Oh, Bobbi...I just have no words....only tears. I know exactly how you're feeling right now as I have been through it so many times lately. We try everything we can think of and pray for a moment of sunshine in our older dogs...a sign that never seems to come. Last year we lost Amber, Jennie, and Autumn to similar circumstances..old age. A month ago we lost our Annie. It never seems to end. But we go on and we love them to the fullest, cherishing every moment and living each day building good memories we can always remember and keep safe in our hearts. May God bless you and your family and especially Gracie as she navigates her senior days. Hugs and Love...

  4. Bobbi, I love Gracie. I want to write a thoughtful comment, but I'm crying. When Samson and Gracie were in love, virtual love, it seems like we were all so much younger then. It wasn't that long ago, it seems. You write beautifully about your girl with the fluffy ears, ear, that Samson dreams about. Your love for her is so strong, as is hers for you. It's beautiful, it's sad, it's meaningful. I'm 81 now and I've come to believe that love is all that really matters in our lives. And Gracie has been so loved and has loved you and your family so all these years. I'm looking at the heart you sent me after Errol died, it hangs in this, my summer bedroom. Take care dear Bobbi, I'm thinking of you during this both beautiful and so very sad time.

  5. I have followed Gracie for so long that reading about her old age kicking in makes me sad. She knows that you guys have given her the very best life to live! Thinking of you and Gracie!

  6. having just gone through this, a few months ago... with my cat of 18 years Mira. I understand exactly where you are at. My heart aches for you and Gracie. Making her comfortable is all you can do. She loves you with all her heart, as you love her. I have been a fan, since the first day I laid eyes on her. She brightened my day and lifted my spirit with her irreverant wit. But we know where she got that. You have memories that fill a lifetime. I'm still working through losing Mira. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. Saying goodbye is hard to do.


Life Gone To The Dogs

I could say my life has gone to the dogs, but let's face it... it's been that way for almost 17 great years. My blog started out as ...