Practical Joke

  

Who likes playing pranks?  Does anyone get angry when they're the victim?  

I love to laugh, and I find it fun to play pranks but sometimes not so fun to be on the other end.  

About a year after we were married Gary had to be away for a few days so I cloned him and sat him in his chair.  On a scale of one to ten...  it was about a six.  

A few years ago, Gary and I went out to the Texas Grill House for dinner with my son and his fiance.   It was a wintry night and I wore my warm down hooded  coat.  It was Jessica's birthday, and I was buying.  

So the waiter brought me the check and we all got up from the booth to leave.  I took the check and was headed for the cash register in front of the store... and  that's when I heard it.  Gary's infamous battery operated FARTER.  I'd recognize that thing anywhere.  Embarrassed, I hurried ahead trying to get away from my juvenile husband and his embarrassing prank.  Jack, Jessica and Gary were all laughing hysterically and lagging behind... and that's when I realized...  the loud embarrassing farts were coming from me!  He wouldn't let up.  It was one long disgusting fart after another.  The restaurant was thick with customers that night...  and I had grown an audience.  I knew then that the unwanted apparatus must be planted somewhere on me... so I started to shed my layers.  Off came my scarf and I threw it into the air like a stripper in a nightclub.... when the farting continued to follow me, I then yanked my coat off and threw it to the floor as I ran to the front and out the door, still carrying the check.  I was laughing so hard and trying  to be angry at the same time.  "You have to come back in and pay for the dinner..." Gary said when he came out onto the small enclosed porch and sat beside me.  "No way!" I said.  I was still trying to be angry but I couldn't stop laughing.  Finally I went in and paid.  All eyes were on me...  but I just focused on paying the check and getting out of there.


Moral of the story:  If you live with a jokester... always check your clothing carefully and never, never, never where a hooded coat to a restaurant.

I hate to admit it.  And I will kill the hub if it ever happens again.  But it was a ten.   

So what's the funniest practical joke you've ever played on someone?  

A Four Star Hotel?

Well, I was right.  My PCP forgot to check that I was supposed to have a chest X ray, so that meant I had to wait around another half hour until they faxed a new order.  It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't had to fast and my stuffy head and sore throat needed coffee and orange juice.  

Here are just a few reasons why I think it's time I find a new PCP:  

1. My Wednesday visit to PCP last week was fruitless because PCP forgot to call for my orders.

And they were rude, making it look like my fault.  

2. They hurried me through yesterday...  and called me a half an hour after I was gone to find out if I got someone else's April appointment.  I did.  

3.  Forgot to check 'chest x ray' on my orders for the hospital.  

Three strikes and your out. What do you think? 

  I  inherited this one after my other one retired, so no big deal.  I try not to see doc's too often...   so hopefully it really won't be a big deal.

About the new hospital.

Was I in a four star hotel?  Really.

It begins with the valet service.  Never lost, because upon entering the lobby through the huge revolving glass door, someone directs me to the exact place I need to be. Three different tests were needed.  Each one was done quickly and efficiently and then I was escorted to the next one.  At the end I was showed to the door.  I've always found hospitals to be a confusing maze.  It was comforting not to have to worry about getting lost.  

Okay.  That done. Yay!!

I made some chicken - noodle - dumpling soup to hopefully help get rid of my 'cold'.  

Dear Diary,

Last week Mom and Dad started packing bags and talking about vacation.  I knew what that meant.  They kept saying stuff like 'Gracie it will be okay, Lindsey and Rissie will be here to feed you and take you potty'  and 'Gracie, I hate to leave you'.  Frankly...  I wasn't seeing it.  They weren't sulking with their heads hung low.  They didn't have sad eyes and and a stubby tail that wouldn't wag.  But whatever.  I pulled Moms sneaker and Dad's slipper to the middle of the floor to comfort me and there they stayed until their return.  When Lindsey and Rissie came, they brought french fries and we had fun.  But they didn't stay all that long.  It was lonely.  I was starting to think Mom and Dad weren't coming back.  But then one day, there they were.  Mom said I acted like I had springs in my feet and that I've never jumped that high before.  They brought me a ball that laughs says stuff like, 'oh no!  brrrrppp', 'hot diggety dog', and 'no, don't do that!' It's very annoying and hard so it's impossible to get the little man out of the center of it.  

It doesn't matter though.  

I'm just happy they're home.  Gracie.

Breath In ~ Breath out

 Boy, it was a hot one here today.  Too hot for make-up!  Too hot for just about anything.  Whew!!

Psych!!  I was just messin' with ya. 

It's cold.  Really cold.

My two beautiful girls stopped by the office to see me today.  

Then I went to my doctor appointment for pre op clearance.  I went Friday, but the orders were not sent to the doctor so I had to come back today.  Now - I'm almost sure that one of these orders should read 'chest Xray'.  Let's see if when I get to the hospital tomorrow for the work, that they forgot to write it on the order.   I'm trying to be patient with these medical professionals, but I'm having a real hard time. 

Breath in ~ Breath out.

And like Gracie, I'm just tired. 

 I want to sleep for a while.  

Wake me when it's over.