Junk Mail

 I could never understand why people get so upset about getting junk mail....

Till one day...

I got a deep paper cut from one of the useless & manipulative pieces of waste found in my mailbox.

Of course, not all mail is junk mail.   Anything with Amazon packing tape means something I want is inside.

Then there is the organizations that want money.

Here is what I have found happens when people donate to charities:

The organizations want MORE>MORE>MORE!!!

The following piece of mail that we received today, gave me pause.

Now why in the world wouldn't this organization give that dollar to the troops instead of sending it to those who they are hoping will send money to the troops?  Must we continually manipulate to get results?

Why would the fact that they send me a dollar make me want to send them $25?

Does money really motivate people to that extent?

Which brings me to my final piece of mail that I would like to share with you today.

Here's how our office works:

We do hearing tests.  We sell hearing aids.  We counsel.  We listen.  We teach.  We exchange.  We counsel some more.  And in the end, if our customer is not satisfied, we give them a full refund.  Every once in a while we get burned out with a customer after going over and over and over everything....  but we smile and soldier on....  and in the end, if they return their hearing aids in spite of our efforts, we suck it up and tell them we are sorry we couldn't help them.

Well, this guy wanted help for his elderly mother and she was...  shall we say... a true challenge.  I did all of the above and in the end, she wanted to return them.

"Please take this $100 for all your work..."  her son said.
Of course, I refused...   But it was kind of him to offer.

A couple of days later I got some good mail from that same guy:

A card with kind words....  Worth so much more that a hundred dollar bill!!!

What is the silliest junk mail you've ever received?


Dear Diary,

T.R.O.U.B.L.E. awaited me the other night under the covers where I was NOT ALLOWED!
I was:

Tortured through whiny words of disrespect.
Read the riot act
Ousted from my safe spot
Under the covers without permission
Beat with a belt.  I lie.
Loved in spite of my transgression.  Yep.
Entagled in covers that I couldn't get out of.  Really. I didn't mean to get under the covers.  They got on top of me.  

Weekend Getaway

We left the snow in Western Maryland last weekend and ended up  HERE for business meetings and Continuing Education classes with Siemens.

We learned a little.  Got some needed CEU's.  

And had some fun....

This is not the guy I went with!  It's a good thing Brian, our Siemens sales rep, is just as crazy as Bubba Gary.

And we all know how competitive men are.  Gary met his match with Brian.  Yes, Brian won the ping pong 'tournament'...  and Gary won first prize for his list of excuses as to why he didn't win.

And so...  they went on to a game Gary was once upon a time really good at.  Pool.

 Brian won again.  And Gary's excuse:  his (now needed) prescription glasses got in the way.

Good food.  Good times.  Good friends.

And speaking of friends...  on our way out, a few stopped to bid us goodbye:

Gracie, how was your weekend with Justin?

Huh!  Justin!  Well, well, well...  you left Justin here to take care of me me here to take care of Justin all weekend.  Here it was:
Gracie, you gotta go potty?  I said NO.  He said, c'mon Gracie...  you have to go potty.  I said JUSTIN I DON'T HAVE TO GO POTTY!  Then I heard him tell mom on the phone that I tried to bite him.  Seriously. I did not try to bite him!   He tried to force me off the couch and I was right in the middle of a dream about Samson, our wedding, and beef jerkey treats...  and so I quickly reminded him (without even showing my teeth) that I DID NOT HAVE TO GO POTTY!  
So, that's how it went.  And boy, mom and dad... I am sure glad you are home.  You understand me.

GO AWAY!

Dear Winter,

I don't mean to be rude, or hurt your feelings at all but you know you are not my favorite.  

I tolerate you.  I try to pretend like I care while deep inside, I am wishing that you would disappear.  

You're beautiful enough.  But you create a lot of work.  You are cold and heartless at times.  Seriously, what do you bring into this relationship?   

You have been vengeful this year.  

Every day you cover us with more and more white stuff.

Why!!  

You are slowing business.

Cabin fever is setting in.

You array yourself in beautiful white fluff....

But your heart is icy cold.  Your beauty fades and leaves dirty snow, icy sidewalks and a chill that goes to the bone.  

So winter, because of your failure to please...  I ask that you move on along now....   

And make room for spring.  She's always been my favorite.

Gracie, are you okay?

Let's see.  There's no place to pee.  I haven't been for a walk in 5,000 years.  Just going to the mailbox with Dad and I get that stuff you call salt on my feet and then I lick 'n bite my feet while you make me nervous hollering at me to stop because I'll cause my feet to bleed,  you are no fun, dad is no fun, there's no place to go and no way to get there.  I get up in the morning, do my pee in the cold wet white stuff, come back inside, eat my cookie, then go back to bed.  Does it sound like I'm okay?