True Blonde Joke/Story

There was this Blonde.

She was instructed by her husband, "Cook the chicken!"

 Well, the chicken was different than any she had made before.  It had been marinaded in barbecue and brown sugar  and packaged in individual wrap without precise instruction on the package.

"How shall I cook it?" she asked.
"In the oven...  or on the stove,"  the fine husband said.
She carefully read the directions.  It didn't really matter how she cooked it, as long as the temperature on the inside of the chicken was 165 degrees when done.

"I can do this!"  Blonde said as she pulled out her brand new virgin meat thermometer from the drawer.

~Fast forward, one hour~

A half a dozen pieces of blackened chicken sizzle in the frying pan, mutilated...  death by stabbing....

Blonde stands over her meal looking distraught.  Husband walks into the kitchen.

"I don't understand it."  Blonde says.  "This chicken has been cooking for over an hour and still the temperature is only 95 degrees on the inside."

Husband takes meat thermometer from wife's hand and removes the cover.  "Now try it."

 After catching his breath and between laughs, Gary managed to get 2 words out...  "That's rich!"

And now...   I quote Gracie on her favorite line of all time....

"Whatever!!"

Treasure

Gary (who does the grocery shopping) 

found my favorite tea today.  

I had just used my last tea bag yesterday morning.  Last week the market had no Red Rose in stock.  

I generally used Tetley and I was not happy one day when they were out of that brand and he brought home a box of Red Rose.  I am a creature of habit and if I like a product,  I'm good...  no need to try anything else.   I had never heard of Red Rose before but I was sure it would be awful. 

When I found a little green porcelain mermaid in the box as a prize, I thought huh... that's cool.  It reminded me of when I was a little girl and would dig with a spoon in the back yard. One day I dug up a teeny tiny porcelain cup and I thought I had found a real treasure! 

So, finding this mermaid inside the Red Rose box was a pleasant surprise, but more of a pleasant surprise was the taste of the tea.  I loved it!  

Now I only want Red Rose.  I guess change is not so bad after all.  

And, guess what I found in my new Red Rose tea box today?

You guessed it!  A real treasure!

Hey Gracie, what do you treasure?

A little to the left Dad...  no... no..  a little to the right...  no, down a bit...  up, up a little ...  right there!  That's it!  Ahhhhhhh

oh.  my answer:  back and belly rubs.

Chocolate

I am not allowed to have chocolate.  I don't know why.  

Mom eats tons of chocolate.  Dad eats it every now and again.  Cupcake and Short Stuff eat chocolate and I've seen Mom give Jake chocolate... but....  

When it comes to the dog 

that she claims to love so much, 

Forget it!

Chocolate is forbidden when it comes 

to the dog.  

But.  I. am. resourceful.  

Sunday Here

RISSI!  LOOK OUT!!

Now that I have your attention...  here was my day:

Church...  

And then I bathed the dog.

A trip to Lowes to get wildflower seeds.

I love the warm, sunny feeling.... walking through....  checking out flowers and plants.

Meanwhile, at home the trees in front of our house have almost peaked.

How was  your day Gracie?

The dog got a bath.  How do you think my day was?

Can You Tell?

Spring is here!

You can just tell...

Gracie, can you tell spring is here?

I can tell Summer is here...  

The furniture is rearranged.  There are bears and blankets everywhere.  And there's me, wondering if I should fear for my life...

I am soooooo outtta here... 

I Owe These People My Life!!!

Okay.  So let's do the math.  If I had a kid when I was 16 and then my kid had a kid when he was 16.....  then I'd be a grandparent at 32, right?

Let's do some more math.  If I was 20 and had a kid and my kid had a kid when he was 20....  then at 40, I'd be a grandparent, right?

What's my point you say?

Well.  When I walked into the auditorium today at Mt. Savage School to attend Grandparents Day, and found a seat in front of a very nice couple of grandparents who started first whispering to one another and then came right out and asked, "you're not here for Grandparents day are you?  You are not old enough...."  THEY WERE SERIOUS!!!  I had to do some quick math in my huge  swelled big head to find out just how young I looked.  Turning 59 in a couple of weeks, this is just the lie compliment I needed to help me survive the ever growing number of candles that will be more like a forest fire on my cake.  I owe these people my life!!!!

So anyways...

Getting to the real theme of this blog.  Grandparents Day.  

When I walked into Jakes classroom he smiled from ear to ear.  The teacher asked each child to introduce their grandparents.  When it was Jake's turn he came running back to me, gave me a big hug and said, "This is my Grammy."  

During snack time the teacher said, "Only 2 snacks.  No more than 2 donuts or cookies!"

Jake had just picked up his second cookie when another worker dumped a box of chocolate donuts onto the plate in front of him.  His face dropped.  He already had his limit.  But I didn't.  So I got chocolate donuts and gave Jake one of mine.  

We played bingo and I got to see the kids doing classroom stuff.  It was too cute!

I felt so special.  No, no, no...  not because Mr. and Mrs. Grandparents thought I was too young to be a grandparent.  They obviously did not think that statement through..

I felt special because I have one of the most important titles I have ever owned.  I am Jake's Grammy.  

What, Gracie?  You have something you want to say?

Yea, it's about Short Stuff.  Why does she keep patting me on the head saying, "you okay Gracie?" Do I look like I'm not okay?  Geesh. Old, maybe.  But I'm still okay, Short Stuff.

A Tip For You!

We stay at a lot of hotels.

Sometimes business, sometimes pleasure.

A while back, it occurred to me that maybe we should be leaving a tip for housekeeping.  Then I started urging Gary when our stay was over to leave something.  He opposed, reminding me that our rooms were way over priced to begin with.  So I had to over-ride his firm no tip policy and leave one myself, often double checking before the door closed behind us to make sure he hadn't confiscated the money in the 'best interest of our best interest'.  Oh Gary!

Sometimes we have to teach our husbands what is the right thing.

Before too long, Gary was telling me to put my money back in my purse, and he was leaving the tip.  My hero!

When my daughter Lindsey began working for the Comfort Inn here in town, I grew even more sensitive to the importance of tipping housekeeping.

....which brings me to my story

Today we returned from a 2 day stay in NJ where we saw JERRY SEINFELD at the Borgata Events Center in Atlantic City.  (It was great, by the way!)

Now, when we left for the show last evening we requested new towels and that our room be tidied up.  I left a tip.

Upon returning to our room I found my IPod was missing!  I looked everywhere but it was nowhere to be found.

"Maybe housekeeping took it,"  Gary suggested.

"No way," I said.  "Why wouldn't they take my Apple computer or my IPad then?"

"Because they couldn't get away with that.  They are too big.  An IPod is small and can fit in a pocket."

And I had left her a tip!  Errrrrrr

The seed was planted.  So now I thought, yep...  Gary is right.  It was stolen.  Though I searched everywhere, my Ipod was nowhere to be found.  I stayed up half the night changing my passwords so if it had been stolen, at least the thief could not get into my accounts.

This morning before going to the front desk to report it stolen, I did another search.  I was furious that someone would be so low as to do such a thing.

A thought crossed my mind,  how God wants us to pray for our 'enemies' and I was trying to be a good steward and do so when suddenly....

There was my Ipod!

I had searched that part of my suitcase 3X and found nothing.  But there it was!

I was so relieved!

An Ipod can be replaced, but my faith in mankind had been tainted and already I was vowing never to leave another tip and never to trust housekeeping again.

Pretty unfair of me, huh?

But now, my IPod had appeared and all was well.

This time, upon leaving, I left a much better tip and I received a tip of my own:   Do not jump to conclusions too hastily...  and always think the best, not the worst.

Question:

Do you tip housekeeping?

And now, a tip for you:  (These workers make little money and work very hard.  A couple of dollars can go toward buying diapers for their baby, getting a prescription for a sick child, or putting food on a families table.)

   If you tip housekeeping, you will be blessed! 

This post is dedicated to my daughter, Lindsey... You work hard and do a great job, but you're never to tired to play Barbies, read stories, or spend quality time with the girls.   My wish for you:  tips, tips, and more tips ;-)

Our Ship Has Come In!!!!!!

JUST HAD TO REPOST!!

This is our house.  We purchased it in 2006.  There was a reason we left WV and moved to Maryland... and this house.  But that story will come later.  

In late October we decided that we'd refinance our house so we could take advantage of the lower interest rate.  Quick n Loans sent an appraiser out and they went over the house and came up with an appraisal that was significantly lower than what we owed on the house already.  Grrrrrr.  It's because of other homes in our area that have been foreclosed on.  It brought the value of our house w-a-y down. No refinance for us. 

An interesting tidbit of information came from the appraiser though:  A previous appraisal showed that there was a basement beneath the house.  What?  We didn't know about a basement.  I wish!!  

After scouring the house and beating on the carpet covered floor with a broomstick, suddenly Gary heard a 'bonk'  in an area underneath the carpet in the adjoining apartment.  "This sounds hollow!" he said.  "This is it! I think I found our basement!"  

Last night Gary decided it was time to rip the carpet up and do some investigating.  

(He should have been an archeologist).  

I am afraid of spiders - they give me the creeps. So I sent him down and dropped a light down with him. 

I could hear him spitting webs from his mouth and I was sure glad I didn't go down.  Then I started hearing things like, "Wow!"  "You got to be kidding!" and "Unbelievable!" Then he said, "Bobbi... I think our ship has come in!"

The house was built in 1942 and I would have to say that this cellar was probably stocked around the same time.  

We found treasures GALORE!!!

(Below)But THIS was the Treasure of all TREASURES!!!

And look what was inside!!!!

AND THEN!!!!  Look WHO!!!

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!