Wednesday, January 11, 2012

TO TELL THE TRUTH




What is your name please?

Contestant #1:  My name is Gracie Phillip.

Contestant #2:  My name is Gracie Phillip.


Contestant #1:  Do you sleep in Gracie's bed at night, or in between your mom and dad in the big bed?  

Answer:   Ummm ...  it's not mom and dad's bed.  It's mine.  They sleep with me.


Contestant #2:  Is it true you own your mom?

Answer:  Oh, no.  She owns me.  I am her perfect pet and will always be here to do whatever she wishes.  She is my owner.  And I never poop on the floor.  Or pee.  Just sayin'

Contestant #1:  What is your occupation?

Answer:  I watch the house and I don't get paid a dime, by the way.  My loyalty goes unappreciated.  It's the pits.

Contestant #2:  What would you say is your best feature?  

Answer:  My eyes.  And my nose and mouth.  And my fluffy, white body.  Oh.  And I don't bark.  I don't whine.  I don't interrupt my folks while they're eating dinner by begging for food.    

WILL THE REAL GRACIE PHILLIP PLEASE STAND UP?



That be me.  The real Gracie Phillip.  


Dear Diary,

I smell a rat.  Gracie.