Welcoming Victor

Below is a repost from January of last year followed by an update. RIP Vic, we will miss you.

An excerpt from my journal entry: April 28, 2015 

Vic arrived yesterday at around three o'clock.  He made a memorable entrance as he laid on the horn to announce his arrival.  I was not impressed.  And so, another chapter of my life begins.  

~~~~~~

We had opened our home based hearing aid business, All About Hearing, four years before Gary's Uncle Vic's arrival.  GP (my husband) and I did not work well together, so (to save our marriage) he voluntarily retired three years after opening, leaving me to solely run the business, and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!  

Shortly before Vic's arrival, construction began.  I would need a bathroom for clients who were primarily elderly and often required to visit the restroom.  So, a hole was cut into the wall of the reception area to the garage since the apartment bathroom would belong to Vic, and a small half-bath was put on the far end of my garage to accommodate my customer's needs.  

The week of Vic's arrival was chaotic, with thick dust covering my office and reception area. Dust was visible everywhere and inhaled dangerously, halting business for a time.  

I was against this.  Let me count the reasons why.

1. So much storage space was gone now, and I had nowhere to go with everything.  

2. This lifelong commitment would end with this 82-year-old man needing much more than a place to stay.  

3. The business.  What would running a reputable business look like with life being lived on the other side of the door? I needed quiet to give hearing tests.  

4. The dust from the construction made me very sick for several months. 

5. Privacy would now be limited.  

6. Responsibility would be huge for GP now and more so 'down the road,' and since GP lived with so many anger issues and so much negativity already, I was not sure he could handle the gigantic commitment he was making. 

Lord, give me strength.

Ten years later, let's look at my list of concerns and how life unfolded:

1. There was so much clutter with nowhere to go with it that every day became a day of organizing for me.

2. The 82-year-old man is now a 92-year-old man with failing health.

3. Vic enjoyed his TV loud!  Really, really, really LOUD.  So when I would be in the middle of a test, and my customers could not hear the 'beeps' for Vic's choice movie's cursing and screaming beyond the door of my testing office,  I would tap on Vic's door - and ask him to please turn the volume down.  He would turn it down a notch or two, but not where it needed to be.  I lost sales.  I started scheduling fewer appointments and at times when I thought he would still be in bed sleeping.  GP tried frantically to help the situation by putting up thick curtains to cut down on the loud sounds coming into my office, but it did nothing.  I could not speak of my concerns to GP because an angry rant would ensue.

4. Eventually, I could breathe again, my good health returned, and everything was fine.  I worked around my less-than-good working surroundings.

5. There was never total privacy again.

6. RESPONSIBILITY for GP was almost more than he could bear.  Graphic and insulting details are withheld here...   but let's just say it's been rough.  Vic's last fall, a little over a week ago, was a wake-up call for all.  Vic needed more care than GP was able to give him.   

I waited outside Vic's room with GP, and I could hear Vic inside asking the nursing home worker if they were finished with him now.  They were.  When the door opened, we were greeted with a big smile.  I noted his frail image lying in the bed, and a feeling of peace swept over me.  "They're pretty good to me in here," Vic said.  "Yeah, it's not bad..."   We talked and laughed and shared some conversations with his roommate and family.  

When I go outside to take my dog to potty at night, I feel empty as I walk past his window.  There used to be life living inside that window.  A man I did not want to share my home with, but now it felt foreign to me to have him gone.  From the first day of his irritating entrance into my life, as he lay on that horn up until now, I grew to love the man who would change my world.  

God reminds me, no matter what --- be kind.  And God will do the rest.  And God has never let me down.

 UPDATE:

After a little over a year in the nursing home, Victor passed early Monday morning. The world does not seem the same. 

2007

2026

It's Obvious who is At Fault

I'm not usually one to put the blame on someone else.  But in this case, it's obvious who is at fault.  The facts are all the proof I need.  It's his fault.

Fact:  In mid September, when Gary's Uncle Victor arrived to live in the adjoining apartment of our house (our guest apartment), I weighed 143 lb.  I realize some women don't like to reveal their weight or their age.  I don't really care, my life's pretty much an open book.  

Fact: today I weigh 148 lb.  *Gasp*

Is it Uncle Victor's fault?  You bet it is!

It wasn't only requested by him that we go out to dinner with him every Saturday and Sunday... it was expected of us.  

He eats slow.  Very slow.  By the time he's done, I'm ready for dessert... 

waitress: "is that all for you today?"

me: "umm. the peanut butter fudge pie... 

could you give me a piece to go please?"

Get the picture?

So today, it's with fond farewell that we bid Uncle Victor a safe drive back to Florida where he'll spend the winter before heading north again...  and though I will miss him much, I'll be able to focus on eating a little more healthy.  

Gary and Uncle Victor

Dear Diary,

Mom says I have a double.  I don't know what a double is.  Double-stuff oreo cookies.  Do I have cookies?  I think not.

So anyway... Mom got me a new jacket.  It's comfy.  She says it's for when I get groomed and my fur is shorter.  Whatever the case, I love my new jacket...

And I hope my new boyfriend/neighbor 

Max notices me now.

Gracie