GROWING OLD WITH GRACIE

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Western Maryland, United States

Sunday, March 11, 2012

What Is Your Problem?

Just Another Day of Trouble
by Gracie Phillip

Me:  (yawning and looking surprised as I lay stretched out on my sofa)  What are you doing home from work so early?  Don't you work till 5?

Mom:  I came over to paint.  

Me:  You're kidding me.  Right?  
When am I supposed to sleep?

Mom:  **Ignores me**

Me:  Wait!  That's my chair.  What are  you doing moving my chair?  I won't be able to see out my window.  
Woah!!  Time out...  

Mom:  **Ignores me**

Me:  Okay fine.  So you moved my chair.  But is it necessary that you open those cans of smelly stuff... hmmm..  let me see here ..  that smell's not so bad after all...

Mom: Gracie!  Get away.

Me:  Geesh.  What a nag.  And just where am I supposed to go?  Why don't you go away...  like back to work...  and leave me here to rest?

1/2 hour later

****I hear Dad....  he's coming.... he's at the door...  DAD!!!****

Mom:  Gracie!!  Look what you did!  You just had to run through the dining room and brush up against the wall, didn't you?  Now Look at you!

Me:  Oh dad.  I missed you so!  This woman has lost her mind!  Save me dad.  Make her go away.  I love you dad!!!

Dad:  Down Gracie!  Look what you did!  White paw prints on my black dress pants.  No!  Down!

Me:  **steps in white paint en route to other room trying to get to safety**

Mom the Nag:  Gracie there are white paw prints all through the living room.  What is your problem?

Dear Diary,
 Mom the nag want's to know what my problem is.  
Look in the mirror lady.  There's the problem.  At least I got to go for a walk today.  When I'm sniffing boy pee on poles and fire hydrants my troubles seem to disappear.  Gracie.