What Is Your Problem?

Just Another Day of Trouble

by Gracie Phillip

Me:  (yawning and looking surprised as I lay stretched out on my sofa)  What are you doing home from work so early?  Don't you work till 5?

Mom:  I came over to paint.  

Me:  You're kidding me.  Right?  

When am I supposed to sleep?

Mom:  **Ignores me**

Me:  Wait!  That's my chair.  What are  you doing moving my chair?  I won't be able to see out my window.  

Woah!!  Time out...  

Mom:  **Ignores me**

Me:  Okay fine.  So you moved my chair.  But is it necessary that you open those cans of smelly stuff... hmmm..  let me see here ..  that smell's not so bad after all...

Mom: Gracie!  Get away.

Me:  Geesh.  What a nag.  And just where am I supposed to go?  Why don't you go away...  like back to work...  and leave me here to rest?

1/2 hour later

****I hear Dad....  he's coming.... he's at the door...  DAD!!!****

Mom:  Gracie!!  Look what you did!  You just had to run through the dining room and brush up against the wall, didn't you?  Now Look at you!

Me:  Oh dad.  I missed you so!  This woman has lost her mind!  Save me dad.  Make her go away.  I love you dad!!!

Dad:  Down Gracie!  Look what you did!  White paw prints on my black dress pants.  No!  Down!

Me:  **steps in white paint en route to other room trying to get to safety**

Mom the Nag:  Gracie there are white paw prints all through the living room.  What is your problem?

Dear Diary,

 Mom the nag want's to know what my problem is.  

Look in the mirror lady.  There's the problem.  At least I got to go for a walk today.  When I'm sniffing boy pee on poles and fire hydrants my troubles seem to disappear.  Gracie.

Yes to the Dress!

Shopping at the mall last night with the daughter

 and the  grand-angels.  

Mission:  A wedding dress for Lindsey.

Summer thinks about it.  "Hmm.. is pink my color?"

Finally, Summer said "Yes" to the dress.

Rissi said "Yes" to her dress as well.  

I was talking to the sales lady who rang us up in front of the store and started backing up to leave when I ran into 'someone' almost knocking the 'person' over. 

 "I'm so sorry..." I said as I turned around to apologize profusely- but I was talking to a pole.  We all had a good laugh...  I'm such a klutz.  

Lindsey didn't find a dress.  

The wedding is a week and 2 days away.  

Sorry I've been away for so long.  I've got a lot going on right now.  My living room is half painted, Lindsey's wedding is next week, our office has been very busy, I'm putting some finishing touches on my book "Gracie's Diary",  business meetings next week in Gettysburg, and Gracie is complaining that it's nice out and that other dogs are going for walks and why isn't she? 

~Breath in  ~ Breath out ~   

A few days ago I ordered wildflower seed for our garden.  Is anyone else excited for spring?

Dear Diary,


I need a haircut.  Mom wonders why I can't jump onto the bed anymore.  "Jeepers creepers woman... if you had a two inch thick wool coat velcro-ed to your chunky fat huge gigantic pleasingly plump self 24-7 you'd have a little problem of your own, don't  cha think?"  She cut some of the fur around my face leaving me the laughing stock of all around.  "Woman!  Why don't you leave the profession of grooming to the professionals?  Really!  And get these paint cans away from my nose.  ... -n- stop moving my chair for crying out loud.  I need to look out my window and observe those other dogs who are more fortunate than I - taking walks with their peeps every day".    Enough on that soapbox.  **Yawn**  Hibernation is over for me and I feel like doing something fun.  Now what can I get into?  Gracie.

A Mess

I'm obsessed with wallpaper border.  For two nights in a row I studied every wallpaper.com on the net and pieced together all kinds of possibilities on printshop to see what would look good.  

hey... it's not done yet...  don't judge me

My house is a mess.  Paint cans everywhere.  Gracie, annoyed. 

So I took a sample of my newly painted living room into Sherwin Williams and asked the guy if the border I was about to buy would look okay with the color I painted my living room.  He took one look at the sample (the color I painted my living room) and said, "I don't like it."  I said, "Well, it's too late for that now.  It's done.  Now help me find something that will go with it."  And he did. lol.  

Nate Berkus, design expert and star of The Nate Show, 

came to mind.