Facectomy

Remember my friend Wally?  

Welp.  

Now there is Wally Jr.  

Both Wally and Wally Jr. are defective.  

They have problems with their heads.

Dad had to give Wally Sr. a facectomy.  He blames me for Wally's almost amputated head and says I was trying to eat Wally's brains away.  

I was not!

 Then there's Wally Jr. who keeps teasing me with those big, bright crossed eyes of his....

He thinks just cause he still has his brains in tact that he's invincible...

But I have plenty of references that will testify....

That I can rip away his guts in just 2 minutes flat....  

And I can wipe that squeaker faced smile off his face in a mere 5 minutes by tearing him from limb to limb and pulling every single squeaker from his scrawny, long, pathetic, sickly, green body....

Of course, I would never do such a thing.  I could,  if I wanted to.  But that's just not me.

Mom says I have too many toys, and if I want Santa to bring me new ones I will have to get rid of some of what I have.

Does anydog need a slightly used, defeated, awesome-smelling squirrely friend...  a cheeseburger...  a coonskin cap...  or perhaps a squeaky, somewhat slobbered on ball?