Saturday, July 7, 2012

What If

If someone would have told me fourteen years ago that I'd soon be getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage I would have told them they were crazy.


Unbeknownst to my pre menopausal self, I'd soon be living on my own and entering into a journey that would take me out of my comfort zone and into the world of the unknown,  and I'd be struggling to make sense of it all...  But how was I to know this fourteen years ago?


 If someone would have said to me, 'You'll meet someone online who lives over 550 miles away and then you will marry him over a year later'...  I would have said, "yea... sure I will."


Who would have known I'd have a dog that I would actually be permitted to keep inside as a house pet??


If by chance, the future could have been predicted, and I was told...  'You'll endure many years of heartache as you watch your new husband go through a literal hell seeing his daughter be destroyed through parental alienation...'


Would I have even believed it?  Probably not.


If a crystal ball could have predicted the events of the last fourteen years of my life, I would have laughed and said, 'yea right... that'll happen!'


Three grandchildren have appeared in those fourteen years.   I can't imagine life without them, but fourteen years ago they did not exist.


Fourteen Christmases.  Fourteen winters, springs, summers, falls.  Fourteen years.  How can life change so much in fourteen years?


If someone would have told me fourteen years ago that I would own my own business and have my own blog...  I would have said, "I work in a sewing factory...  what do I know about running a business?  And what in the world is a blog?"


And I  never would have believed someone saying to me that I'd write a book about it all.  Seriously, me?  a book?


Isn't it funny how time slips away and life can change so drastically in just a decade and a half?

What were you doing fourteen years ago?  How has your life changed?


If you were wisked away in a time machine to a future place fourteen years from now, would you recognize who you had become?


If you could go back in time, fourteen years earlier, would your choices be the same going forward?

"Gracie's Diary," the book, is about life, choices, and a dog named Gracie who shares her perspective as each chapter ends.

It is being edited once again, and taking longer than expected but (hopefully) will be published early fall.


When I view my life then  (fourteen years ago that is) and look at where I am now, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has petitioned me to write this book about my journey.


I still feel sad about what happened.  I dream about the little girl that became lost and then disappeared from our lives.

I think about choices.

I wonder...  what if...


 ...And I look at my life and thank God for where my journey has brought me.


...  and I count my blessings




20 comments:

Julie Marie said...

Dear Bobbi... I am glad your happy "what if's" all came true... your flowers are all so beautiful... and I am happy you have all of God's blessings in your life now... especially dear little Gracie, xoxo Julie Marie

Gloria Hood said...

I sure do understand this! I too have had many changes, most for the better, in the past fourteen years!

Maple Lane said...

Good Saturday Morning, Bobbi. Congrats on the book. We often don't understand the bumps along life's journey but we know that God is with us each step of the way. So happy that you and Gary have each other and that your business is successful. Your blog touches many lives and it is indeed a blessing to know you and share in life's ups and downs and to pray for you. That last photo of Gracie is the sweetest ever. Love to you all.

NanaNor's said...

Hi Bobbi, Such a powerful post. I had no idea about life changes. Fourteen years ago, I was helping my sis to deal with Ovarian cancer and also homeschooling our two daughters. Such a difference. I'm glad you are happy and content where you are now. I love your writing and know your book will be wonderful.
Hugs, Noreen & Hunter

Wanda's Wings said...

Fourteen years ago was a life time ago. So much change. I am glad all the change in your life has lead to peace and fulfillment.Enjoy life to it's fullest.

Inger said...

I will be the first in line to buy your and Gracie's book. I am so looking forward to it. I want to say I am so proud of you, Bobbi, which is kind of dumb, since you are not my daughter and you have your own family who are I'm sure very happy for you. But I once had a stepson, the situation was very similar, he is no longer alive. It was one of the tragedies of my life. It hurts more, I think, when it affects the one you love, your husband and mine.

p.s. On a happier note, tell Gracie it's Samson's birthday today.

Linda O'Connell said...

Bobbi, this was a moving post that I can certainly relate to. Life has a way of working out despite por interventions. Stop by and say hi http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com Write for the Heart

Forty Pound Sack said...

What a beautiful post! Your corn flower photos remind me of my best-ever friend, whom I have not seen in 28 years. We keep in touch via phone and email, but a visit is definitely in order ~

Scrappy said...

Lovely heartfelt post. I bet the book will be just as wonderful. We never know where our lives will take us and trusting God is the only thing we have sometimes. Much can change in even a moment, so I suppose it shouldn't surprise us when we look way back, yet it still does.

Sometimes the answers to the questions just come to us later on.

*sigh*

Jim said...

I was recently told by a government agency for seniors here in Canada that they couldn't possibly run their department on 'what ifs'. I wasn't pleased with their comment but upon reflection I understood what they were saying. That is not the way to run a business or our lives....we'd live in fear all the time.
But I know it is a great question to ask ourselves from time to time so we can give ourselves a 'pat on the back' for getting here from there!
Loved your photos Bobbi...of Gary's flowers!! lol

Sweet Tea said...

Life is such a multi-demensional picture, isn't it? Such sadness woven between great unimaginable happiness that somehow paints our life. I love the way blogging allows us to share our stories and I will love reading your book when it is published. I hope the next 14 years of your life are the happiest yet...In the last fourteen years we have moved to a different state (after living in one state our entire life), had a daughter, became grandparents 3 times, and said goodbye to my Dad and my FIL and MIL, as well as making many new friends and visiting some new places. . . Love your flowers! No "what if's", keep looking forward! ((HUGS))

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I admire you for following your heart and listening to that inner voice that has led you to where you are today and to writing this book and to never wondering 'what if.'

Tweedles -- that's me said...

So many good things have happened to you in the past 14 years!
We are happy your journey has brought you to share with all of us.
This was a beautiful post.
love
tweedles

Pearl said...

This is such a moving post because a lot of your thoughts are so in my mind. If anyone would have told me that I would marry three times, I would have assured them they were wrong. I am a very loyal person who thought it would be forever. My first husband was my true love but I found out quickly he didn't respect me or our marriage and it had to end for me to be able to live again. My second husband who had a smile that could melt your heart was taken ill with cancer about one year after we married. He died at age 31. I am now married to a man that visits the cemetery with me and understands how my life has shaped me.
I would love to say I would change so many things...but then I wouldn't be the person I am today. I had to learn to forgive and be a caretaker. I grew up quickly being a widow at 31. Now I am married but who knows what God has in store for me still.

I am so glad for you that you are in a "happy place". I wish nothing but happiness. I am sure your book will inspire us all.

Theresa said...

Well, my "what ifs" go way further back than 14 years but I totally understand what you are saying! My life was transformed dramatically when I stepped from one life to another:) Love, Life and happiness began! Have a blessed day dear Bobbi, HUGS!

TARYTERRE said...

REFLECTION puts it all into perspective, doesn't it? I am happy things propelled you in a new direction and that I found your blog. can't wait to read the book.

Lynda said...

How exciting about the book - - - and all the experiences where God has walked beside you! We generally don't see a lot of changes in our day to day life but it really is exciting to look back at who we were and who we are now.
14 years ago - - - I wasn't even 50!!!The girls were in high school and college. Hmmmm - - - I like where I am better now even if I feel 'old' some days.

That corgi :) said...

Interesting perspectives in looking back over the last 14 years Bobbi. So much has happened, so much joy, so much sorrow, so much happiness, so many wonderful new lives born, some spoiled dog......How exciting when your book finally gets published.

Fourteen years ago; we had just moved to Montana, kids were 9/13; it does go by so fast, doesn't it? We certainly didn't have a silly corgi pup :)

betty

Jenni said...

Fourteen years ago I did not have the pleasure of reading your fabulous blog..... and I am so thankful that it is a joyful addition to my life here and now.....so sorry for all the sorrow y'all have endured...... best wishes for the next fourteen years!

Big hugs,
Jenni

Liz said...

Such a powerful post! I'd like to think that all these things (good & bad) have molded us into who we are today! Congrats on your book becoming a little closer to it's publishing date!