Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Trick or Treat... Don't Touch Me or I'll Take You're Hand Off!

17 Reasons Why Man Woman Should Never Take 
His Her Best Friend Trick or Treating.

by Gracie Phillip

1.  Said dog may just have some socialization issues and feel inferior around others of her kind.

2.  Dog may feel embarrassed by silly outfits that dog is forced to wear.

3. Dog may take offense when others of her kind who are also dressed in silly outfits feel the need to be too friendly... if you know what I mean...

4.  Dog may feel left out when mom woman decides other dogs are cuter than said dog.

5.  Said dog may become flustered and irritated when headpiece of goofy outfit becomes mussed.

6.  Said dog may be afraid and want to go home but woman insists on looking at other cute dogs and talking to people.

7.  Dog may become intimidated and fearful of evil devil dogs that lurk around every corner.

8.  Said dog may have bad memories of Veterinarian Hospital in spite of the treats and decorations throughout and in each room and around every corner and said dog may try to bite every kind sneaky hand that reaches out to give it a treat shot and said dog may remember the vet that put said dog to sleep and had his way with her as he now tries to reach out and kill pet said dog and said dog may snap at veterinarian and poop on the floor causing confusion and chaos amidst the festivities as vet runs for paper towels to clean up huge pile of nervous poop from floor.

9.  Said dog may have been told that she should avoid skunks at all cost.

10.  Said dog may fall in love with tall, dark and handsome strangers... never to see them again.

11.  Said dog may be a little nervous about yet another stop ~ a pet parade at the mall, where she's never before been.

 12.  Said dog may be irate with woman because she got her to the mall too late for the judging of the cutest pet.   And she was sure she'd win!

13.  Said dog may feel anxiety and just want to go home.

 14.  Said dog may be forced to socialize despite her introverted ways.

15.  Said dog may have a reality check and realize that even if she would have gotten to the mall sooner...  there is one cuter than said dog...  Huh!

16.  Dog has to be face to face with cousin Opie who tends to be a little on the frisky side for said ol' girl.

 17.  Said dog is intimidated and reminded that young cheerleaders are so much hotter than old brides.  Humph.

Dear Diary,
Tonight I got Beggin' Strips and an orange bandana.  I'd rather not get into what I had to do to get them.  Let's just say, it wasn't one of my better evenings out.  Gracie.


  1. Oh, poor Gracie! Woody said to tell you that he is in complete agreement with you and sends you his sympathy and love.

  2. Oh, gosh, sounds like Gracie's worst Halloween nightmare! Well, I would have voted for you, Gracie!!!

  3. Oh Gracie, you make me laugh tonight...er, I meant to say, "I feel your pain". Too funny, and BTW - even though that cheerleader was pretty cute, I think you're waaaay cuter!!

  4. Aww Gracie made a lovely bride, even if she didn't like her costume. I would never get something like that on my dog. She would have had a heart attack and I would be sleeping in the kennel.

  5. Gracie made a cute little bride! I think all her potential friends & enemies were pretty cute too!

  6. Gracie
    You are so beautiful.. never feel anything but beautiful, and your friends too!
    nitey nite

  7. I'm so sorry it was such a tough night for you Gracie, but I have to say, I laughed through this whole post, so thank you for the laugh. I wasn't laughing at you, but with you!

    You were a beautiful bride in my opinion!!

    I have to admire you too, Koda would never been able to do this. Hates wearing clothes and hates other dogs. So you are a hero in my book for putting up with it all!


  8. Gracie it's just one of those endless holiday gatherings you have to get dressed up for. We all do it. You looked marvelous, truly you did. It was wonderful the way you MASKED your true feelings and let your momma show you off to all those strangers. You certainly met an array of interesting characters, as you socialized, didn't you? Glad you were finally rewarded for your efforts. UNWIND. RELAX! Tomorrow is another day.

  9. Great post! I sure laughed a lot too! Poor Gracie though, even though she was a cutie! So glad Miss Mindy doesn't mind clothes......yet!

  10. Well, jus' be hap-pee dat da Hallo-Weenie only happens once a year. Peeps go a wittle cwazy round dat time. Next Hallo-Weenie.........HIDE!!!!

  11. Oh Gracie, you were the cutest one there... "paws down" the winner! Enjoy your day with your HARD earned bandana:) HUGS!

  12. Oh Gracie, Tessy and I would vote for you as the cutest doggie there for sure!... love your new bandana... and we love you too!... xoxo Julie Marie and Tessy

  13. MOL Gracie...oh girlfriend I'm not MOLing at you but with you...Mom's eyes are leaking from laughter too.

    Our favorite was #10...We hope you run into Mr. Right again very soon.
    Hugs from your BFFF,

  14. I think Gracie is not wanting to be a Bride yet. She is not ready to settle down. I think the Cheerleader could probably show her around a bit.

  15. Samson Says: Awww, grrr, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to tell the woman to take that silly outfit off you, to tell the vet to back off, and other dogs to watch their sniffs. But Gracie, you were the cutest one of all in all the pictures, you made my heart beat faster pretty girl.

  16. Oh my GOODNESS! I love this post! that cheerleader dog cracked me up... (along with the comments from Gracie)

    BTW, I think you were the belle of the Ball, Gracie, dear! You are so cute, you look good in anything!


  17. Oh Gracie! The indignities! Hey, but it's all worth it! Keeping your Mommy and Daddy happy!

  18. Gracie, You are a winner in my opinion. You make a very stunning bride. I'm happy you received treats and a new bandana. Wishing you, mom and dad a very Happy Halloween!

  19. I wouldnt dare put a costume on Ragsy. Just his raincoat gives him fits. LOL to Gracie... Hugs, LJ


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