Mom

  
She was two years old when her daddy died, and her mom remarried a man who was abusive to her mother and to her.

Her mother (my grandma) ended up institutionalized and Mom lived with her stepfather who continued to be abusive.  When she was eighteen, Mom went to live with her Uncle Jim and Aunt Beulah.  They were good people. (I remember Pappy (uncle Jim) mostly for his large yard that was 100% garden and for the black licorice babies that he would give each of us kids every other Sunday when he and Mom would go to visit my grandma)  Mom was thrilled when she got to go and live with them, and they actually allowed her to date (at age eighteen)! 

My Pappy
Mom had a thing for guys in uniform; so when her and her friend spied two Navy guys leaving a local club one night the girls were on them like peanut butter on jelly. 

“I want the tall one,” Mom said.  

 Dad was the short one.  

And now you know the rest of the story....
My dad - the short one on the left
But Mom was an optimist, and she knew how to make things work.  

A nice sized rock for my Dad to stand on made him taller… 
Cereal for supper made our money go farther…  and peritoneal dialysis made her last days more bearable. 


Mom was not perfect.  

She would have been the first one to enlighten you if you said that she was.  

But I did not know one person who did not like her, 
flaws and all. 



Sitting at her dialysis table.  She did a solution exchange 4X a day and it took an hour for each one.  Since she was almost blind, she had to feel to do it.
On this Mother’s Day I remember the one and only person who made me feel as though I hung the moon.  The one I could call on the phone anytime and talk about anything.  The one who cared and loved me unconditionally. The one who felt I was important, special, loved no matter what!

May 8, 1994

It was a beautiful day.  Mothers Day.   It felt good to concentrate on my family and getting the kids and myself off to Sunday school and church.  

The week had been busy.  Multiple doctor visits for Mom meant I had to fight that big bulky wheel chair a number of times that week.  Getting it in and out of the car was almost impossible, it was so heavy and cumbersome.  Mom's mood didn't help.  I tried to smile and stay positive but the day she scolded me when she felt the wheelchair was not positioned just right had brought tears to my eyes and I had to swallow the lump that was in my throat without letting her know that her words hurt me.  She was not usually like that, but I understood.  She wasn't feeling well.  

The day was mine.  I would enjoy it with my kids and take Mom some dinner later.  We were ready to walk out the door when the phone rang.  

She needed me.

Would I ever have a life again?  Would I ever know what it was like to not have to drop what I was doing and drive over to Mom's to help her out of the chair?  Or to help with her dialysis when she could no longer see to do it?  Or do an emergency trip to the ER?  Or pick up a script?  Or, as in that day's unusual emergency, free her walker from being stuck between the bedroom and the bathroom?  

Frustrated, I did what I had to do.  

 God is glorious in how He orders our steps, changes our plans, humbles us, and brings us where we need to be in our lives.  

When I walked into Mom's apartment, the sun shone warm through the big window that overlooked the parking lot below.  I no longer felt violated by having to give up my own agenda yet again, but rather, a peace came over me like never before.  After freeing Mom's walker, I made her toast for breakfast.  She was having a good day, so then I made her a second helping of toast.  We talked and laughed and she thanked me over and over again.  I didn't want to leave and so I stayed into the afternoon.  Then I went and stood in a long line that seemed to go on forever so I could pick up dinner (chopped steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans from the Silver Leaf Restaurant, that was her request for the day) and bring it back for her.  

Two months later, she was gone.  

Though at the time my patience was tried to the limit, I knew in my heart that one day I would be grateful for the opportunity to serve Mom for those years she was ill.  

She was a pretty good mom in spite of her troubled childhood.  So often today, adults blame their brokenness on the way they were raised.  It is my conclusion that we need to come to a point in our lives where we accept responsibility for our decisions and our actions.  Mom is proof that living a good, honest life of integrity and becoming better comes from learning and growing into a responsible adult, forgiving the hurt that was caused her by others, and moving on having learned from her own mistakes and of those who went before her.    

Our last Mother's Day together will always hold a special place in my heart.

I love and miss you Mom, and I’m so looking forward to our reunion one day.    



Comments

Mr. Pip said…
OK, pass the tissues! This was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Your pal, Pip (and mom, too)
Oh Bobbi, that was so touching! I also thank-you for sharing your Mom today and starting my day off on such a beautiful note!

Happy Mother's Day!!!!
Wanda's Wings said…
So very touching.Thank you for sharing.
Gloria said…
Beautiful! Thanks Bobbi!
Sharon said…
AW, that's sweet, thank you for sharing! I can see now, why you are such a positive person! I think I would have liked to have your Mom as a friend. Have a wonderful Mother's Day!
Lynda said…
Moms are the best. Don't we wish we could have them back some days to tell them the things we had wished we had said when they were here?!!
Jenni said…
What wonderful person she must have been, to inspire the love and respect that shines from you today....and how precious are the memories of her that you hold close to your heart....

Thanks for sharing some of those "heart memories" with us today!

and you are a wonderful person, too, Bobbi!! Kind, Compassionate and Caring...... She did a good "Mama" job.....

May you have a lovely and blessed Mother's Day.
Hugs,
Jenni
Tracy said…
Oh Bobbi, that was quite lovely and very profound. Thank you for sharing your mother with us and your memories...loved it!
Ginny said…
Awwww! And I bet you made her so happy and proud! Your mom was tough, but so loving, she just looks like she would be such fun to be around. I hope you have a great Mother's Day, Bobbi!
sophie...^5 said…
Lovely Bobbi...now one thing...who is not a blond!? wink wink!
Amber DaWeenie said…
That was a beautiful and very touching tribute to Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to you.
That corgi :) said…
what a beautiful tribute to your mom; what a beautiful lady she was! it seems like she had a hard life, but still had such a beautiful smile! I'm sure it will be a joyous reunion one day!

betty
Such a loving tribute
Happy Mothers Day
love
tweedles
Lady Jane said…
I love how mom met dad. I am sorry your mom had to go thru dialysis. I am glad she had your love to help sustain her. You had to be a comforting treasure to each other. God Bless you and Happy Mom's Day, L J
Jim said…
What a great tribute to your Mom, Bobbi! She would be so proud. Hope you had a great Mother's Day.
Mildred said…
Hi Bobbi, Thank you for sharing this sweet tribute to your lovely Mom. God bless you.
Madi and Mom said…
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom!
We hope Gracie is feeling better each day,
Hugs Madi and Mom
Peggy Frezon said…
Such a nice tribute, thank you for sharing. My mom wasn't perfect either but I always felt loved. That is the best!
Canyon Girl said…
That was so lovely and those of us who had Mothers who made us feel loved are very blessed. I thought of mine all day yesterday she was a wonderful mother too.

I guess you missed that I had bronchitis, coughed too hard, and fractured a vertebrae and slipped a disc. Extremely painful. No big deal in itself, but after last year I feel like I really need a break, already!

Samson Says: I hope very much that Gracie is fully recovered now and I'm sending xoxoxo. Did she read my post when I went to the vet the other day? I was luckier than she.
Ginny said…
Thinking of you, you usually post so regularly every day, hope you are O.K.?
Liz said…
Sounds like your Mom was a great lady! I know you must miss her terribly!
Mildred said…
A beautiful post, Bobbi. Blessings to you this Mother's Day.

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